I enjoy
the 5 days that my kids are in school. It gives me time to regroup and clean. I
love having a clean, organized house. I spend the 5 days keeping it clean,
decluttering and deep cleaning. But the weekend comes and Paityn destroys everything
I have done. We do our best to keep things out of her reach but it is not an
easy thing to do 100% of the time. I can’t tell you how many books she has
ripped apart, boxes of cereal she has dumped all over the table and floor,
toilet paper she has thrown in the toilet, milk jugs she has opened and poured out completely, dresser drawer parts that she has
ripped off (from my sturdy new dresser I might add), phones she has
thrown in the toilet, pictures she has ripped in half and blinds she has broken.
On top of
that she loves to empty dresser drawers or any drawer for that matter, clear countertops, table tops and
shelves with the quick swipe of her arm, tug on clothes that are hanging in
coat closets and bedroom closets until they fall to the floor
and break the hangers, squeeze lotion, shampoo, gel and toothpaste out of their containers and basically empty anything and everything she comes in
contact with.
This
weekend was no exception, and I dealt with many of these things as usual, but
after having a book thrown at me cutting my lip, a toy car chucked at my chest and
being slapped in the face harder than what I am used to, I guess that I had had
enough. I could not hold the tears anymore. It was Sunday, we were at Ryan’s
brothers home. I had Ryan help me put Paityn in the car and I drove away and
let the tears fall. I prayed to Heavenly Father asking, “Why does she have to
be like this, why can’t she just be normal, I can’t deal with this anymore, I
don’t know how to do it.” And right then this beautiful song came on the radio.
“The
Test”
Tell me
friend, why are you blind?
Why doesn't he who worked the miracles
send light into your eyes
Tell me friend if you understand.
Why doesn't he with power to raise the dead just
make you whole again?
It would be so easy for him.
I watch you and in sorrow question why.
Then you my friend in perfect faith reply.
Didn't he say he sent us to be tested?
Didn't he say the way would not be sure?
But didn't he say that we could live with him
Forever more, well and whole,
If we but patiently endure?
After the trial we would be blessed
But this life is the test.
Tell me friend, I see your pain.
Why when you pray in faith for healing does the
crippling thorn remain?
Help me see if you understand.
Why doesn't he who heal the lame man
come with healing in his wings?
It would be so easy for him.
I watch you and in sorrow question why
Then you my friend in perfect faith reply
Didn't he say he sent us to be tested?
Didn't he say the way would not be sure?
But didn't he say that we could live with him
Forever more, well and whole,
If we but patiently endure?
After the trial
We would be blessed.
But this life is the test.
By: Janice Kapp Perry
And the
tears fell harder…
